Vegetarian from Hell Pt4

"BFH" was fast becoming a lost cause but we still had many other guests to look after and they were having a wonderful time and looking forward to Christmas Day Lunch and the rest of the festivities including the Grand Buffet. Christmas day for the guests is just one long procession of eating and drinking interrupted every so often with events, party games, carol singers and organised walks etc. All the staff are so busy that time passes by without really noticing it and all meals are served, cleared away and readied for the next session with out breaking step. The feed back from the guests is excellent and despite some teething troubles with "BFH at most meals it looks like we were on coarse for another successful Christmas package.

During and just before the Christmas festivities started the kitchen has been preparing for the Grand Buffet. Whole sucklings pigs, Sirloins & ribs of beef, turkey, Chicken, whole gammon for honey baked ham, partridge's, loins of venison, saddles of lamb, whole salmons and salmon fillets for home made gravadlax, lobster, crayfish, langoustines, prawns, crabs, and pheasants (ripple effect) were all cooked, roasted , baked and prepared for the Buffet. Many of the items would be decorated and coated with a beef or fish based aspic jelly to enhance the center pieces. As you may of noticed the buffet was not very vegetarian and vegan friendly but we had made arrangements to cover for this and the restaurant staff would serve them at their tables with their alternative food selections.

Also on the buffet would be hot and cold starters, soups, hot dishes and a sweet table to die for and a wide selection of cheeses. The buffet table would also be filled with a huge variety of salads and accompaniment's and that task fell to me. If you include the different bowls of lettuces I prepared 30 bowls of salads and only one of them contained any meat in it. Well we had to get rid of the turkey somehow. It was a turkey, ham, peppers, walnuts and saffron rice dish bound with mayonnaise.

The buffet tables were set out and once again a separate buffet table was organised as far away possible from where the meat and fish mirrors were to be displayed. There was also another area set aside for the sweet dishes, cheeses and fresh fruits. As the time for the buffet to be served approached the final checks on the buffet layout and positioning were carried out and the last items added to the tables were the salads. I personally arranged them amongst the center pieces and check everything was OK. I then arranged the salads for the vegetarians table and double checked that the one salad with meat in had not got mixed in with them and that the display was just as good as the rest. Job done and headed back to the kitchen.

Behind the scenes it was organised chaos in the final minutes before service as chefs and restaurant staff donned clean aprons, jackets, hats, etc while out front in the lounge/bar restaurant area the guest mingled in their fancy dress costumes chatting and sipping drinks. Last minute corrections and the Boss dressed in his best penguin suit declared the buffet was open. With so much food on offer and a bewildering amount of choice the inevitable queue started to form and being typically British most people accepted it as normal and took the opportunity to engage in conversation with their fellow dinners as they waited. After all there was no rush and there was plenty for all.

What could go wrong?

The ripple affect, 'If only', the wise old saying "You are only a strong as your weakest link" and 'Sods Law' can go wrong!

Vegetarian from Hell Pt3

The first meal for our vegetarian friend and we fell at the first hurdle. We sent in some normal milk and this seem to placate her for the time being. I just knew we were going to have fun and games with this lady. The afternoon tea drew to a close and she departed with her husband in tow but not before she requested a change of table as she was not happy with were they were seated in the restaurant and as as she left the pointed in the general direction of where she would like to be placed.

The restaurant manager was last seen frantically trying to rearrange the seating plan and getting nowhere fast as the existing seating plan was a bit of a tight fit to start with. Eventually after much huffing and puffing, plenty of head scratching and about an hours work the offending table was shoe horned in to a suitable place but not before some other tables had to be moved. The table was laid ready for dinner and the restaurant manager began to relax a little. If only he a had know what lay ahead. The innocent request to move the table and place it where it was put was like dropping a stone into the middle of a pond. It makes a small splash to start with but the ripple affects are felt all round the edge of the pond and it was no different here.

I mentioned before that in a hotel there are no secrets and if there is they are soon discovered and it is the same with the guests as well as the staff. The news of the lady's outburst during the afternoon tea was soon being talked about among the other guests. Meanwhile work in the kitchen starts to gather pace as we all go about our tasks. Dinner was being served at 8 o'clock and all the guests would be sitting down together. The menu consisted of a selection of starters, soup course, fish course, sorbet, main course, sweet and cheeses, coffees and petite fours. We also gave the restaurant manager a list of alternatives for all the courses to cover any dietary needs and any other guests that could not eat what was on offer.

With all the bases covered and dinner fast approaching the guests started to assemble in the bar / lounge area. Dinner was announced and the guests headed for their tables only for some of them to find that they had been moved since afternoon tea and some others to find out that the lady that most people were talking about was now sitting next to them. The ripples from the table being moved were starting to felt and we found out later that this upset several of the other guests. Service started and the orders were taken for the starters and main courses and any alternatives.

You could of put money on it happening and so it did. The lady vegetarian was not happy with the starter choices and alternatives and enquired about other alternatives. She was happy regards the soup and fish course but wanted something different for the main course. "All part of life's tapestry" said the Boss when he entered the kitchen and found out. Nothing was going to faze him and he had a smile a foot wide and was looking forward to a busy but successful service to get the Christmas package well and truly underway.

The kitchen staff were also looking to get the best start possible but did not necessarily share the same thoughts as the boss regarding the "Bitch from Hell" as she was now being referred to. Most of the staff called her something else as well but that is definitely not printable. Service progressed and despite the odd clanger and "BFH" as I will now refer to her as it was a good service and all the guest were happy, the Boss was happy, the Head Chef was happy, everybody was happy all except the poor sad bloke that was married to "BFH". One of the girls tasked with serving them tried to cheer him up with general chatter but bright and bubbly as she was she soon realised that she had more chance platting fog.

Service finished and we in the kitchen cleaned up and headed for some after service refreshments. A little while latter when most of the restaurant staff had joined us for refreshments the conversation soon turned to the hot topic of the hotel. "BFH" had had a bit of contratont with her hubby and had stormed off in a huff. After waiting a few minutes he followed her upstairs probably contemplating an ear bashing. This public falling out soon started doing the rounds and one of the barmen heard a guest saying that "It is not right that BFH should get special treatment all the time, have we not paid the same as them, are we not special as well" and he was not a happy bunny as he was on one of the tables that had to be moved to accommodate her.

Ripples were being felt more and more.

Stocks and sauces

Having been a Chef and worked in the catering industry for 25 years I sometimes find that when I am doing other things I start thinking about cooking and food. I suppose it is only natural that I think about food and cooking and today it was no exception.
For some reason stocks came in to my head. I was preparing a chunky vegetable soup at the time but the stocks I was think about had nothing to do with cooking.



The stocks I was thinking about was the stocks from medieval times where wrong doers used to get put in and people would throw rotting fruit and vegetables at them and be publicly humiliated. Can't for the life of me think why but I did start think to myself who I would like to see thrown in the stocks and then throw fruit and tomatoes at them. On my long list the first people to be put in the stocks would be Politicians and I would be tempted not to take the fruit and tomatoes out of the tin when I threw the contents at them. An old stand up comedians joke I know but worthy of politicians.

The next on my list would be all those CEO's, Chairman's, and big wig's of all those banking and financial institutions that have gone belly up because of their greed and stupidity. Closely followed by all the bosses that use the 'Credit Crunch' and 'Downturn in the Economy' as an excuse to lay off hundreds/thousands of hard working people instead of getting rid of the inept management who are costing their companies millions. Especially if it is just to make a fat payment to the shareholders and they just happen have a couple of millions shares that were given to them for free.



I definitely would not remove the tomatoes and fruit from the tins and instead of using a A2 and a half I would be using an A10.
(An A10 approx 2.95 kg) is a bloody big tin) I then started to think about one or two people that I have had the displeasure to work with and came up with a man that would defiantly go in the stocks and If I had my way he would stay in them and rot.

It's a long story and I might post it later but he was an evil man in my book. To save his own job he aligned himself with upper management, took over the existing managers job (demoted) and started to try and force people out of work and avoid paying redundancy monies to staff that had in some cases been working for the company for over 25 years. He used every nasty trick in the book and did it with a smile on his face. He was that bad he once refused a man a day off work to go to his brothers funeral.

The man requesting time off from work went through all the appropriate channels as laid down by management. He put it in writing and asked if he could use a days holiday entitlement to attend the funeral. He was refused and so he offered to take a day off without pay and work an extra day to cover his shift and still he was refused.

The smile was knocked off his face when the man requesting the time off told him "Go and have a sexual relationship with yourself and I am taking the time off regardless of what you might do". Silly nasty fool of a man was so over confidant that he forgot to have another manager present as a witness and there was nothing he could do.

It made me laugh and as the saying goes "what comes around goes around" as a couple of years later he was getting booted out of his job. But this leads me to ask the question who would you like to see in 'The stocks'?

Happy New Year 'Tout Le Monde'

Happy New Year everybody. I trust you all had a good time seeing in the New Year last night and are not suffering to much from the after affects. If you are feeling a little delicate then perhaps trying a 'Kill or Cure' routine to aid recovery might be on the cards.

Most people have some sort of routine they go through to help them recover from a hang over and it's fair to say that they don't all ways work. I have tried a few over the years and the best one that works for me is to drink as much cold water as I can just before I go to bed. I believe this helps flush the excess alcohol out quicker and helps prevent the brain cells/head from dehydrating.

Many years ago when I was very young and partying regularly I found that several paracetamol and a can of beer/lager the morning after a party has been known to help me on occasion. The danger off course with this method is if the 3/4 full beer can you found on the kitchen table has been used as by someone as an ashtray and you have to drink the contents through clenched teeth. Yuck I hear you saying but it certainly was a 'kill or cure' method. Like I said I was young and foolish and at the time 'I drank life by the gallon'. We worked long and hard in the kitchens and we played just as hard.

I remember once I drew the breakfast shift on New Years Day and although that was not unusual but what made it different was at the time I was living 35 miles away from work. I had to start work at 7 a.m. after an hours drive. There was no way that I was having anything to drink on New Years Eve and for once I had a fairly early night. I awoke at 5.30 a.m. and after a coffee I headed for the car. It was snowing when I set off but not bad enough to prevent me travelling. I drove for just over an hour and passed through a fairly big town and travelled on the motorway for a little while and I never saw one police car. Typical.... If I had been daft enough to have a drink the night before I bet money on the fact I would get pulled over.

As I neared my place of work the snow and conditions got a lot worse and as I approached a bend on a bridge the car wheels lost traction and I headed for the bridge wall. My luck was in and I slid sideways in to the wall so slowly that when I hit the wall I was hardly doing any speed. A quick inspection on side of the car revealed nothing more than a few scratches. I arrived at work in one piece and got on with preparing breakfast.

Very shortly the first of the restaurant staff started turning up for work and they looked as if they had been dragged through a bush backwards and their faces were a deathly shade of white. Oh to be sober as a judge when all around you are suffering from a hangover. I suddenly developed a case of the 'dropsies' and all manor of kitchen items seem to be crashing on the floor even ones that I had not used. Add to that the aromatic waft of cooking bacon and spicy Cumberland sausages and some of the staff disappeared for some reason and only returned after having a 'quick chat on the porcelain telephone to Ralph, Burt and Hughie.

That was a one off and on many occasions after an excessive New Years Eve party I have been know to be as 'rough as a bears behind' but the show must go on as they say and you can always sleep it of later.

Happy New Year.....hic

Vegetarian from Hell Pt2

Just in case anyone reading this post thinks I am having a go at Vegetarians please note that in "Vegetarian from Hell Pt1" I stated from the start of the post that it was not so. Nothing has changed and if someone wants to be a vegetarian then so be it. When I see some of the ways that animals are treated to produce so called "cheap food" I begin to understand more and more a vegetarians way of thinking. I will still be a meat eater but will be more selective on what I eat.

Perhaps if supermarkets stopped bullying the producers to get the cheapest price possible so they can sell at the best price possible the animal food producers might be able to spend more time and money on the health and well being of the animals they breed. Maybe if they stop trying to hood wink the customers with so called "2 for a fiver" or "2 for the price 1" offers and take a hit in the profits column, give a better price to the farmer in return for better animal conditions the animals will be allowed to live a better quality of life. Then again "Do pigs fly"

Supermarket dig over and on to meat of the post (sorry I could not resist the pun and hope it does not offend)

Christmas was approaching fast and the Head Chef and I were just finalising the food and provisions orders for Christmas. In kitchens big or small this is quite a task and it would be easy to overlook a vital ingredient if you are not careful. Final numbers for the Christmas package had been updated as well as details on any special dietary needs customers and vegetarians. We were well aware of one particular vegetarians needs but we also had a couple of guests who for health reasons were on a gluten free diet. There were 4 other vegetarians and 2 vegan's. I had been given the task of ensuring all the necessary ingredients and suitable substitutes had been ordered for the guests with special needs.

With the help of our wholesalers and fresh food suppliers the kitchen was able to order all the manner of produce so that our specials enjoyed where possible the same menu as the rest of the customers. Amongst the goods ordered were,
Christmas cakes, mince pies and puddings without animal fats,
Cheeses that were suitable for vegan's vegetarians and gluten free.
Soya based milks and creams,
Soya produce, soya milks, Tofu, and just about anything else with soya in
All sorts of beans and pulses,
Special sugars that contained no animal produce,
Caffeine free tea and coffee, etc
Chocolates and sweets that were vegan friendly
Specials breads for the gluten free diets.

The list was endless but we made sure that we had enough food substitutes to deal with any dietary and medical needs customers and any other eventualities that we did not know about. The first day of our Christmas package always started with the meeting and greeting of our guests with a "Grand Victorian Afternoon Tea" buffet and reception. The preparations would start very early in the morning along with all the other jobs that had to be done for the evening meal. Like many busy kitchens at that time year If you were not serving food you were always preparing food for the next meal. We were having a busy but pretty good day and besides the odd hick up which is to be expected things were pretty much running to plan.

The Afternoon Tea was due to be served from 3.30p.m. and run until 6p.m. to cover the late arrivals. With about 30 minutes to go the buffet tables spread out in the lounge were filling up with mountains of hand made scones, fruitcakes, biscuits, cream filled cakes, brandy snaps, sponge cakes, vanilla slices, Madeira cake, obligatory mince pies, shortbread's and more cakes and goodies than you can shake a stick at. Bowls of Chantilly cream and sugared strawberries dotted the tables for good measure. Added to this was all manner of sandwiches including smoked salmon, cucumber and all the traditional sandwich fillings you can think of. All of which was served with a vast array of fine teas, herbal teas, fruit teas, and speciality teas for the vegan's and vegetarians.

A separate table was filled with most of the goodies mentioned above and/or with safe alternatives for the gluten free diets, Another table was set well away from any other tables for the vegan's and vegetarians. The idea being that it allowed the guest to mingle freely amongst each other and avoid any nasty surprises. Prior to the afternoon tea being served the Restaurant Manager gave his final instructions to his staff. In the instructions were details of the special needs customers and in particular the lady who had sent the letter to the kitchen regards her 'Special needs'

The Boss had already been to the kitchen earlier and informed us that he was a little uneasy about this particular guest and had instructed reception to immediately inform him when the lady and her husband arrived so that he could identify her by sight. This was not a one off gesture by the Boss because he liked to meet and greet all guests as they checked in where possible. The lady and her husband duly arrived and the Boss played his usually part and warmly welcomed them. Enquired if they had a pleasant journey etc and treated them to his traditional Christmas welcome that he gave to all his guests.

Besides being a genuine and a personal touch to meet and greet the guests on arrival it gave the Boss the opportunity to access the people he shook hands with and after leaving the lady and her husband to go to their room he issued several instructions to all departments. Trouble with a capital 'T' was his immediate response to the Head Chef and I when we asked about the lady in question. The boss was a shrewd judge of character and after 35 years of working in the catering industry and being a trouble shooter for a top nationwide hotel chain with international hotels he was more often right than he was wrong.

I took my cue and donned a clean apron and hat and went for a quick look round the buffet tables to check that there was plenty of food on display and at the same time do a quick check on the specials tables. Call it paranoia by all means but a buffet were guests move freely around with food on there plates, who then stop to greet each other and in doing so put a plate down on a nearby table whilst they shake hands is a recipe for cross contamination. Throw in a few guests who are not special needs and vegetarians/vegan's who see another table full of goodies and pile in the inevitable can happen. Good job we did not have anyone with a nut allergy. That would have been a nightmare. Although we did have that possibility reasonably covered.

In the lady's letter to the kitchen she pointed out that she did not eat animal or animal byproduce but went on to say that she ate fish, eggs, and cheese. This was what set the alarm bells ringing along with the bit about her past experiances with other hotels who ruined her Christmas because they did not know how to cook for her. Having received a mixed message from the lady had prompted the Head Chef and I to ensure all of her food was always double checked at all times to avoid mistakes. Over the top I know but when you are busy, tired and rush off you feet accidents can and will happen according to 'Sods Law' (often called something else but unprintable)

Bearing this in mind for her first meal at the hotel we went to extra lengths to ensure her stay got off to flying start and along with the cakes and sanwiches etc a special tray with sugars, teas, and soya milk was set up for her as was several other trays for the other specials in the hotel. At this point it might be worth pointing out that her husband was not a vegetarian. His wife definatly wore the trousers in their relationship and it soon became apparant before long that she did not like him eating meat in her company, smoking (was not so anti-social at the time), drinking and generally enjoying life if allowed too. There are no secrets in a hotel and if there are they do not last long and this gentleman was as henpecked as they come.

Their arrival in the lounge prompted a waitress to come and collect the tray alloted to them. The Restraunt Manager was walking on egg shells as he introduced himself and politely showed them the buffet table that they were to choose from. The manager left them to help themselves as the waitress delivered the pots of hot water, cups and saucers and their special tray of tea, sugars and milk to the table they had been alloted in the restraunt. The waitress who served them came to the kitchen later and told us how she had overheard the gentleman saying to his wife that he wanted to have a look at the other tables to see what was on offer and how his wife had quickly put the brakes on that idea. Plenty of laughs and giggles in the kitchen and one of the comis said "poor man" He said something else really but I can't tell you that for obviouse reasons.

Little did we know at the time but trouble was brewing. After availing themselves of 'their buffet' the lady began to pour out her tea and add milk & sugar. She took a sip of her tea and all hell broke loose. The combination of vegetarian tea & sugar combined with soya milk was not her 'cup of tea' and she sent the waitress back to the kitchen with the instructions "to get her some proper milk and get rid of this f*(7^%g c#%p!" So much for being a lady and from that point on it went from bad to worse.

To be continued...........

It's getting late so enjoy New Years Eve where ever you are and remember-

Confusious say "man who walk in bar New Years Day not feeling well, ask barman what good thing for hangover, get answer 'drink heavily the night before'


Remember drink aware - drink sensibbly IF YOU CAN'T THEN DRINK WATER JUST BEFORE YOU GO TO BED.

Is this man a Pratt?

This young man is indeed a Pratt. His name is David Pratt and he has just been given the honour of the fastest red card in actual play in football history. He was sent off after three seconds of play. I love my football and on occasions I have been known to get a little over enthusiastic on the field of play but this will take some beating as did some of the referees that are mentioned at the bottom of this post.

It reminds me of when I used to play for a local football team whilst I was still a Chef and a relatively fit young man. That is if you call a young man who once got dropped from the the team because I was drinking cans of beer whilst leaning against the post when my side was encamped in the opposition half. I had just been given the goalkeepers jersey after the other fair weather keeper had 'Tore a Stocking' in mid-week training. We were thrashing the opposition and the score was 5 nil after only about 25 minutes. I just happen to have a six pack in my goal keeping carrier bag that was on the floor in the back of the net. I popped open a can and started to enjoy the delights of a coldie. One thing lead to another and I opened another of the cans.

Meanwhile our team was still in the opposition half and I was still propped up against the left hand post when for some reason one of my side back passed to me from deep in the opponents half and one of the opposition was in hot pursuit of the ball. What happened next was a something you might see in a Laurel & Hardy film. I was just taking a slurp of my beer when I was shouted at and looked up in surprise to see the ball and the advancing player bearing down on my goal. I had the can in my right hand and was still leaning against the left hand post when I realised that the ball was travelling in the general direction of the right hand goal post and might just end up in the net if I did not do something about it.

A split second of panic was replaced with a burst of frantic action as I raced out to meet the oncoming player and the ball. With the beer can firmly gripped by my right hand as I did not want to spill my beer, I ran out to kick the oncoming ball up field. The ground in the goal was full of mud as was normal for that time of year and as I swung my right leg at the ball my standing left leg slipped on the mud and the ball shot under my foot and I went down in a heap with the opposition player. I landed on top of him and the ball got stuck in the mud about 6 feet from the goal line.

We both grappled with each other as we frantically tried to get up and reach the ball. Neck and neck we raced to the ball and he lunged forward with his foot at the same time as I dived headfirst through the mud. I just managed to get to the ball first and divert the ball out of play with my left hand via the base of the post. whilst at the same time both of us ending in the back of the net in a crumpled heap and covered in mud.

As I was getting up from the floor I noticed the manager on the sidelines throwing a wobbler and he started screaming all sorts at me. I thought that was a tad bit over the top as no harm was done and they did not score from the ensuing corner. The real good news was that I did not drop my can of beer although I did manage to get some mud inside the can. This I only found out later when the ball was cleared up field and the normal business of pummeling the opposition out of sight resumed. I had to drink the remains of the beer through gritted teeth but it was to be expected when your can is full of mud.

The game finished and it was a total massacre an we beat the opposition 12 nil. Later in the dressing room after a wonderful hot shower and a few more beers the manager came up to me and started having another go at me. He ranted and raved and then told me I was dropped from the team. There is no pleasing some folk is there. We have just ended a loosing streak, two badly needed points in the bag, a right walloping of the opposition, team spirits lifted and he wants to drop me. Some people take the local Saturday morning football league matches a bit too serious if you ask me. Just like another gentleman from a team that we used to play against. The gentleman in question was not a full shilling and also came from an area

"Where the men where men and the sheep were pregnant"

He unlike the gentleman above who has the dubious honour of being the fastest sending off in history was as far as I know possibly the only non-league player at the time to have a world wide life time ban from football handed to him by the footballing authority's. He was a little quick with his temper as well as his fists and had knocked out 2 referees and a few other players during matches. I always did wander why one or two of our players seem to develop a sore knee or a bad back just before we were due to play the team he played for.

He once got sent off whilst still serving a ban for a previous sending off. He came into our dressing room after the match and asked one of our younger players who he thought was their "Man Of The Match'. The words were out of the young boys mouth before we had time to act and he said it was the player that had been sent off in the match. It was true the lad that got sent of was their 'Man Of The Match' but the lad with the short temper and the the quick fists thought the young lad was 'Extracting The Urine' and started a punch up and soon the whole dressing room was involved.

Such was the joys of Non league football.

I do miss the fun and games.

Vegetarian from Hell pt1

I may of spoke to soon in my previous post about the snow. It has just started sleeting and perhaps it might start to stick. We will wait and see and in the mean time I will tell you about a Vegetarian from Hell.

Let me tell you from the start that I have nothing against vegetarians. In fact I rather enjoy some of the foods that they usually eat as they are full of flavour and many of the dishes are very tasty. I also understand their point of view about the killing of another animal for food and how it upsets them. I will never be a vegetarian but will avoid were ever possible foods that I know that have been intensively fed and inhumanely treated in order to provide supermarkets with cheap food that they make huge profits on by fleecing the (good/bad) producer and then selling to the customer at top prices.

Living in France and having free range chickens that provide us with fresh eggs daily means that from now on I will never buy battery hen eggs and the carefully worded equivalents that have been invented by the supermarkets and producers. You might know the ones that I mean. They are the ones in boxes with pictures of chickens walking about freely and have words like barn fed, and barn reared on the packaging to try and kid the public that the hens are well looked after and are 'free range'. They never actually say the words 'Free Range Chickens'. Those that do say something like 'free to range about' and really mean free to range about with 3-4000 other birds in an area fit for 3-400 and are never let out of the building/sheds that they live and sleep in.

Excuse me I digress from the reason for the post will get to the matter in hand

It was about 6 weeks before Christmas and a letter was delivered to the kitchen by one of the receptionists. It was marked FAO The Kitchen and as the Head Chef was off duty I opened it in my capacity as Sous Chef and started to read the contents. I read it and then reread it to check that my eyes were not deceiving me. It started out with the usual Dear Sir etc and the usual opening pleasantries and then started to get very interesting to say the least. It sort of went along the lines like this below.

Dear Sir,

My name is Blah blah Blah and I and my Husband have booked for your Christmas package at your hotel and will be staying with you for 5 Days etc etc. More Blah Blah and then this-

"I am a vegetarian and have stayed at several other hotels for the Christmas period in the past and they did not know how to cook for a vegetarian and ruined their stay."

(When I read that the hairs on the back of my neck started to stand out, alarm bells started ringing in my head and I felt an odd feeling in my stomach. I continued to read and came across this bit-

"I am a vegetarian and if you do not know what a vegetarian is I will tell you."

And she proceeded to tell me in great detail that she did not eat any animal produce and any animal by-produce. More Blah Blah blah and then the lady in question after telling me in precise detail on what she did not eat, went onto say once again in precise detail on what she did eat. She then hit me with the sucker punch to end all sucker punches and went on to say that-

"I eat fish, eggs, milk, and chicken" followed by more Blah Blah Blahs.

She ended the letter with more Blah Blah Blahs and asked that the kitchen be informed on her needs and hoped that the kitchen would understand and provide the necessary foods to ensure that she would not have another Christmas like she had experienced in the past at other hotels etc etc etc.

I know I am perhaps not the best educated man on the planet and did not go to University or Eton College but even I know with my limited experience of working in kitchens for over 10 years that 'fish, eggs, milk, and chicken' are all byproducts of an animal. The letter was mind blowing and once I had finished laughing and chuckling I got my act together and rang reception and asked them to contact The Boss and ask him to come to the kitchen when he had the time. He duly arrived a little latter and I showed him the letter. I can not describe to you the looks and frowns that shot across his face as he read and reread the letter.

After have another laugh with Boss and a short discussion on what to do, he said that I must show the letter to the Head Chef as soon as possible and nearer the time the guest is due to arrive I must arrange that we have a complete selection of totally vegetarian products for the lady in question and any other vegetarians that might be staying with us at the Christmas package. I duly showed the letter to the Head Chef on his return and after a good laugh he filed the letter in his Christmas menu & orders folder so that we would not forget.

Well I will end now and will tell you in the next post what happened when the lady arrived at the hotel. I have just popped outside and in the short space of time of writing this post it has started snowing big time and is going to stick. Just chased the chickens out of the front garden again. Over half an acre of land to free range around in and they want to be in the small front garden. Dooooh!

Bye for now

"I'm dreaming of a white in between Christmas and New Year" sung to the voice of Bing Crosby. Trust me you would not want to hear me sing it. The only time I sing in public is when the car engine can make make more noise than I can. (Loads of smily and winky emoticons)