I have started to write about some of the things that my work mates, friends, co-workers, associates and I got up whilst working in busy galleys and kitchens in the hotel and catering industry between 1975-2000. Some of the events that took place are sometimes very funny and some were not so funny if you where the person on the receiving end. Some of them you probably won't believe but I can assure you they did happen. Practical jokes and playing tricks on your fellow worker was the norm and some times they got out of hand and feelings got hurt, but for the most part they were laughed off and taken as part and parcel of the daily life in the industry we were working in. Even the lad I told you about before who was tricked in to putting his thumb in to boiling sugar just laughed it off eventually!
To give you an idea what life was like I will give you some background information to start with to avoid over repeating it during some of the tales that I will be relating. My co-workers and I were working in a busy hotel and our terms of employment included L.I.A.F. which meant live in all found and basically meant that we had some where to eat, sleep, live and work and what we earned after tax and deductions for national insurance was all ours. We had no bills for gas, electric, water, rates/poll tax/council tax, etc, no food bills and we even got fed on our days off. There was off course a payback because there always is!
We worked 'hours as required' and this meant that there was no finishing work when your 40 hours were up, you had to stay until the job was finished. 50/60/70 hours a week for 40 hours pay was quite common and many of the staff and I have worked longer hours than that for no extra pay. We did get Lieu days and sometimes overtime but mainly when it came to major bank holidays etc we got a lieu day as well as our 8 hours pay for the day. A sort of swings and roundabouts but the employer got the better of the deal in the end. At the time we did not care as we were mostly all youngsters and after finishing a hard days work we would get cleaned up and let the party begin.
Life in the hotel at the time was one long party involving booze and sex interrupted by going to work. and then starting all over again. There was no drugs as such, we did not need or want them as we relieved our stress and tensions by drinking, bed hopping and parties. Binge drinking was rife in the hotel as was chasing the opposite sex.
We had a male and female staff block (inter mixed eventually) that was more like a brothel without payment than a place to live and relax. If they could have put infrared cameras out side the staff accommodation they would of seen a endless procession of people travelling back and forth between their respective quarters at all hours of the night.
Almost every night there was a party going on till all hours and sometime the party would only stop when many of the staff had to start their breakfast shifts. Many a member of staff would turn up for work still drunk and looking like Death on Legs but it was normal and as long as the managed to complete their shift they could always sleep it of latter. Most if not all the staff's life would revolve around getting up, going to work, finishing their shift, going to the pub/bar or a drinking session in the staff block, returning to work (most of the staff were on split shifts) finish up in the evening, get cleaned up and then head to the pub followed by a trip to a night club and or a party in some ones room, or all three as the case was on many occasions.
As mentioned before there was a lot of chasing after the opposite sex and usually after or during a booze up. Come to think of it was going on all day as well. Boys were being boys and the girls were defending their honour although in some cases some were not defending their honour as well as they should be. It was not just the blokes that were up for a bit of 'slap and tickle' and there was several young ladies that had a problem with their loose fitting underwear and at least one of them did not bother with such refinery.
Names have been changed for obvious reason but we had several horizontal Lil's, a couple of dirty Gerty's, a hairy Mary and one young girl who was banned by the local rugby club from their traditional game of 'Pick a Pig'. They always played the game when they got a new player and she was always being picked. Also it was costing the poor bloke a fortune as part of the rules were that if you win you had to buy the winner drinks all night and take her to bed. The lass in question could drink like a fish and I will leave you to figure out the next part but it involves rabbits. Strangely enough the unfortunate player always seem to have a sudden loss of form not long after playing the game. Can't think why!.
The girl in question had a very bubbly character in the day time but after a few beers at night she turned in to a 'man eater' and many a time she pounced on a poor drunken and unsuspecting victim as he made his way home from the club. Don't get me wrong many of the said victims did not put up to much of a fight and as the saying goes "any port in a storm". One thing that was common with all her victims was they sobered up they vehemently denied anything went on but we all knew! She used to take great pride in regaling the boys and girls about her latest conquest.
In our tight knit community nothing was sacred and secrets did not stay secret for long. We literally lived on top of each other and we all knew each others business.
The latest victim would usually keep a low profile for a few days before he felt it safe to venture out to the pub or night club. He certainly would make sure that the next time he was drunk he would surround himself with a crowd for protection and keep an eye on the exact location of the 'man eater'. There was one bloke that was a hero amongst most of the blokes in the area because he liked her and regularly was seen sneaking in to her staff room late at night. The male population could breath a sigh of relief and rest easy when they knew he was about. A hero in the eyes of all the founder members of the 'Thunderbirds Club' but will leave that for another time.
With living in close proximity to each other we soon got to know each others likes and dislike. Who was jealous of who and why? Who was seeing who and who was up for grabs. Testosterone and pheromones mixed and clashed daily and this made for strange bed fellows at night time and fighting like cats and dogs in the daytime. Us against them, kitchen versus the restaurant, kitchen and restaurant against the
receptionists, and then kitchen, reception, and restaurant against the management. On a few occasions a few grudges got out of hand and fights broke out but by and large it was all banter, bravado and show.
The hotel staff were a mixture of scousers, geordies, brummies, cockneys, Scots, English, welsh and Irish. The mix of staff made for a sense of humour that was lightning sharp and the repartee was full of comebacks, ripostes, dead pan answers, banter, dark humor, dripping irony, sarcasm, satire, wit, and all the ism's that you can think of. Some of the things that were said would be at best classed as bad taste and at worst we would probably be arrested for it today.
There was nothing sacred and religion, sex, creed, nationality, and many isms all got the full treatment. If you were thin skinned you would not last long. You would get situations like a bloke from the kitchen would call a bloke from the restaurant an "over weight pregnant fish" and the person would reply with something like "sex and travel mixed with you vertically challenged person of non parentage" The girls were just as bad and one girl might say to another girl "sex, I, did you see that female dog with that facially and folically challenged female sexually region last night?" I am sure you will get the drift. It was the only way I could explain it without getting done, barred or upsetting anyone reading this. I know it might not sound clever and funny but that's the way it was.
My best mate used to call me " a youthfully challenged flatulence" just for starters and then move on to some very choice expressions that would make a dock road matress artiste blush.
I hope I have given a little insight in to goings on in the catering industry on land and on sea as I also have a few old sea stories for you.
In the mean time
Be good and if you can't be good don't get caught with your pants down like one gentleman we spotted on the hotel lawn of a near by hotel. He thought that we could not see him on the dark lawn but the street lighting cast just enough glow for us to see him practising his press ups on a scantily dressed young lady.
For a selection of books on cooking and recipes for Chritmas and gifts for friends and family why not try the Gite book store below or if you are looking for more blogs on French life see here-
www.french-gite-creuse.co.uk
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