Twas Christmas Eve in the 'Work House'

Or in the kitchen as it was more commonly known as at the hotel I was working in.

Mulled wine with a Twist....hic

Like many chefs and waiters & waitresses at this time of year my colleagues and I were in the middle of a very long shift that in my case started with preparing breakfast for over 150 guests on Christmas Eve morning. We took in turns to be the duty breakfast chef and this meant starting work at 6 a.m. I am quite lucky in some ways because I am the type of person who can get up early and after only a few minutes and a strong cup of coffee be full of life. Some staff I have worked with take hours to be up to full speed and they are as grumpy as 'bear with a sore head'. Throw in a hang over as many staff in our hotel often had and you have a recipe for fun and games. Perhaps their hang over was the reason for being like a 'bear with a sore head'

By the time you get to service time for breakfast you have had a couple of hours of hard work to get your blood flowing and clear up any hang over that you may have had when work first started. There are not many advantages for doing the early shift but one of them is if you have a "Mal de Tete" you can suffer in relative peace and quite and work off some of the inevitable side affects. So when the late starters roll in for work I am often full of mischief by then and like most people I can spot some one suffering from the after effects of to much beer from the night before dead easy.

The dour looks on their face, the slow movements with head down, the face the colour of pea soup and wincing slightly as they mumble quietly to my over cheerful and at the top of my voice "Good Morning" are often good indicators of a hang over and the one that really nails it is when they get the full whiff of cooking bacon and sausages they immediately rush their hand to their mouth in a vain attempt to prevent what's known in the trade as a "multi coloured five fingered yawn" as they dash for the toilet. Time for a bit of kitchen music to help them on their way and a suitable sized pan and lid or large ladle being banged together usually does the trick.

Fairly soon things would begin to liven up and a busy day of constant cooking and serving of food lies ahead for most of the staff and many are very lucky if they get a couple of hours off. The only staff in a hotel at Christmas that follow their normal work routine are the receptionists, hall porters and the "Management". Booo Hisss and a few other unprintable comments. I say that as a laugh because like all places I have worked in there are good and bad management and the complete and utter "@;'!&" that was our Food & Beverages manager.(referred to F&B for short from now on) He was the most miserable "B" that you could imagine and no body had a good word for him. Even his boss did not like his methods.

I should point out at this time that the boss was a good egg and although he wanted his "Pound of Flesh" he was fair and would always buy drinks for the kitchen and restaurant when it was busy and was prepared to get his hands dirty to get the job done. I have watched him take off his dinner jacket in service and wash pots to help the KP's catch up and then put his jacket back on and serve in the restaurant. Then clean up and go and talk with guests. An excellent manager in my books.

The hotel I was working at like many in the area offered a Christmas Package and basically the guests would arrive sometime in the day on Christmas Eve and begin a 3/4 day orgy of food and drink from breakfast time to bed time and beyond. This intern meant the restaurant and the kitchen were working all day non stop everyday. Just giving you some background information to set the scene.

In the immortal words of Frankie Howard

"And so it came to pass"

As the day wore on the guests started arriving in droves for the first of many feasting sessions which always started with a 'Grand Afternoon Tea' Meanwhile many of the kitchen and restaurant staff are still working and preparing for the evening Gala meal and have had no break. Along comes Mr F&B misery guts and starts giving some poor sod a rollicking in front of all the staff for something pretty trivial. I can't recall the exact details but it did involve word like "if you don't buck up you will get the sack etc" Like I said earlier he was a right "B" and many off us were looking forward to the day when he would drop a clanger and be in danger of loosing his job.

The kitchen Gods were smiling on us that day and some of our prayers for his demise were partially answered quicker than we thought. Meanwhile the final preparations for dinner were carrying on and staff took it in turns to go and have a quick wash and clean up ready for service. I was still in the kitchen along with the Head Chef (Hong Kong Fooie) He loved Judo/Taekwondo stuff and was always practising on the chefs. He was from Yarrrkshire as his wife used to say and he was a complete nutter. Part of the Christmas Eve events involved making a "Mulled Wine" that was served with warm mince pies and roasted chestnuts to the guests on their return from Midnight Mass. He and I were overseeing the making of the Mulled wine.

Tradition was we always started making the mix in the late afternoon when the kitchen was at it quietest and there was room on the solid tops for the huge pan that we used. As I mentioned before in a previous post the Mulled wine was a good way to use up all the crap wine and unsold Beaujolais. It was also a way for the F&B manager to get a full allowance for entertaining the guests and at the same time clear out any wine that would never be sold.

We started gathering all the ingredients that the kitchen would supply and rang for the duty F&B to come to the kitchen and supply us with the booze we required. We were in luck and the assistant F&B manager was on duty at the time. He was an OK guy but a little green behind the ears. It was his first position as a F&B manager and was eager to please. As he found out to his cost later he was a little to eager to please and fell for our cunning plan. We told him that as we were making a batch to supply over 150 people we would need plenty of red wine, any odd bottles of white wine laying about and 2 bottles of brandy (cooking quality) 2 bottles of whiskey, a bottle of gin, a bottle of vodka, a bottle of Madeira (cooking quality) a bottle of dark rum and a bottle of port.

We were only having a laugh with the F&B assistant and were stunned when he later turned up with a porters trolley full of booze. Not only had he gave us all that we asked for on our so called list he gave us best quality brandy and dark rum. It took all our inner strength to not bust out laughing and give the game away. After the F&B had left I jokingly said to the Chef "I should of asked for a crate of beer" but he said that that would have give the game away for sure. We proceeded make huge batch of Mulled Wine and at the same time sample some of the better quality ingredients. Needless to say that did not involve the red or white wine.

One bottle of brandy, 1 whiskey and the bottle of port disappeared into the Chefs kitchen drinks cabinet strait away and I was told it was for Ron ....later on. I do believe that some of the whisky, rum, vodka and gin actually made it into the pan but from what I can remember it was not much. Meanwhile there was this massive pan on the solid top stove and during the next 3 hours suffered from sever reduction as it was sampled by all the kitchen staff and a few of the restaurant staff. It reduced down by so much we had to call the F&B assistant again for more red wine.

Amazingly dinner was served without any problems and there was just about enough Mulled Wine left for the guest when they came back from Midnight Mass. The Boss had rumbled us earlier but after a quick word with the Chef in his office he was satisfied that we would more than make up for our inappropriate actions with loads of extra hard work throughout the Christmas period. The Boss was a good mates with the Chef and as he left the Chefs office laughing he said "That will teach the F&B manager a lesson he will not forget" and we later found out that the Boss had given the F&B manager a right royal roasting and threatened him with the sack if he did not buck up.

Apparently the Boss had heard about the rollicking he had given to the member of staff earlier on in the day and he thought it was not warranted. As the saying goes "what goes around comes around" and we had a good laugh at his expense. Twice as turns out as he had to make up the discrepancies in his alcohol stocks.

Strangely enough the F&B manager got into a bit of Hot Water on another occasion involving some immensely wealthy Arabs and the kitchen drinks cupboard but I will tell you that storey on another time perhaps.

I wish you all a Merry Christmas and hope Santa delivers all your dreams.

A special Merry Christmas to Goooooood Girl

and especially to all the boys and girls who will be working all and day and every day in the kitchens and restaurants over the festive period.

Bye for now and time for a little drinkie poos.