Vegetarian from Hell pt1

I may of spoke to soon in my previous post about the snow. It has just started sleeting and perhaps it might start to stick. We will wait and see and in the mean time I will tell you about a Vegetarian from Hell.

Let me tell you from the start that I have nothing against vegetarians. In fact I rather enjoy some of the foods that they usually eat as they are full of flavour and many of the dishes are very tasty. I also understand their point of view about the killing of another animal for food and how it upsets them. I will never be a vegetarian but will avoid were ever possible foods that I know that have been intensively fed and inhumanely treated in order to provide supermarkets with cheap food that they make huge profits on by fleecing the (good/bad) producer and then selling to the customer at top prices.

Living in France and having free range chickens that provide us with fresh eggs daily means that from now on I will never buy battery hen eggs and the carefully worded equivalents that have been invented by the supermarkets and producers. You might know the ones that I mean. They are the ones in boxes with pictures of chickens walking about freely and have words like barn fed, and barn reared on the packaging to try and kid the public that the hens are well looked after and are 'free range'. They never actually say the words 'Free Range Chickens'. Those that do say something like 'free to range about' and really mean free to range about with 3-4000 other birds in an area fit for 3-400 and are never let out of the building/sheds that they live and sleep in.

Excuse me I digress from the reason for the post will get to the matter in hand

It was about 6 weeks before Christmas and a letter was delivered to the kitchen by one of the receptionists. It was marked FAO The Kitchen and as the Head Chef was off duty I opened it in my capacity as Sous Chef and started to read the contents. I read it and then reread it to check that my eyes were not deceiving me. It started out with the usual Dear Sir etc and the usual opening pleasantries and then started to get very interesting to say the least. It sort of went along the lines like this below.

Dear Sir,

My name is Blah blah Blah and I and my Husband have booked for your Christmas package at your hotel and will be staying with you for 5 Days etc etc. More Blah Blah and then this-

"I am a vegetarian and have stayed at several other hotels for the Christmas period in the past and they did not know how to cook for a vegetarian and ruined their stay."

(When I read that the hairs on the back of my neck started to stand out, alarm bells started ringing in my head and I felt an odd feeling in my stomach. I continued to read and came across this bit-

"I am a vegetarian and if you do not know what a vegetarian is I will tell you."

And she proceeded to tell me in great detail that she did not eat any animal produce and any animal by-produce. More Blah Blah blah and then the lady in question after telling me in precise detail on what she did not eat, went onto say once again in precise detail on what she did eat. She then hit me with the sucker punch to end all sucker punches and went on to say that-

"I eat fish, eggs, milk, and chicken" followed by more Blah Blah Blahs.

She ended the letter with more Blah Blah Blahs and asked that the kitchen be informed on her needs and hoped that the kitchen would understand and provide the necessary foods to ensure that she would not have another Christmas like she had experienced in the past at other hotels etc etc etc.

I know I am perhaps not the best educated man on the planet and did not go to University or Eton College but even I know with my limited experience of working in kitchens for over 10 years that 'fish, eggs, milk, and chicken' are all byproducts of an animal. The letter was mind blowing and once I had finished laughing and chuckling I got my act together and rang reception and asked them to contact The Boss and ask him to come to the kitchen when he had the time. He duly arrived a little latter and I showed him the letter. I can not describe to you the looks and frowns that shot across his face as he read and reread the letter.

After have another laugh with Boss and a short discussion on what to do, he said that I must show the letter to the Head Chef as soon as possible and nearer the time the guest is due to arrive I must arrange that we have a complete selection of totally vegetarian products for the lady in question and any other vegetarians that might be staying with us at the Christmas package. I duly showed the letter to the Head Chef on his return and after a good laugh he filed the letter in his Christmas menu & orders folder so that we would not forget.

Well I will end now and will tell you in the next post what happened when the lady arrived at the hotel. I have just popped outside and in the short space of time of writing this post it has started snowing big time and is going to stick. Just chased the chickens out of the front garden again. Over half an acre of land to free range around in and they want to be in the small front garden. Dooooh!

Bye for now

"I'm dreaming of a white in between Christmas and New Year" sung to the voice of Bing Crosby. Trust me you would not want to hear me sing it. The only time I sing in public is when the car engine can make make more noise than I can. (Loads of smily and winky emoticons)