Vegetarian from Hell Pt2

Just in case anyone reading this post thinks I am having a go at Vegetarians please note that in "Vegetarian from Hell Pt1" I stated from the start of the post that it was not so. Nothing has changed and if someone wants to be a vegetarian then so be it. When I see some of the ways that animals are treated to produce so called "cheap food" I begin to understand more and more a vegetarians way of thinking. I will still be a meat eater but will be more selective on what I eat.

Perhaps if supermarkets stopped bullying the producers to get the cheapest price possible so they can sell at the best price possible the animal food producers might be able to spend more time and money on the health and well being of the animals they breed. Maybe if they stop trying to hood wink the customers with so called "2 for a fiver" or "2 for the price 1" offers and take a hit in the profits column, give a better price to the farmer in return for better animal conditions the animals will be allowed to live a better quality of life. Then again "Do pigs fly"

Supermarket dig over and on to meat of the post (sorry I could not resist the pun and hope it does not offend)

Christmas was approaching fast and the Head Chef and I were just finalising the food and provisions orders for Christmas. In kitchens big or small this is quite a task and it would be easy to overlook a vital ingredient if you are not careful. Final numbers for the Christmas package had been updated as well as details on any special dietary needs customers and vegetarians. We were well aware of one particular vegetarians needs but we also had a couple of guests who for health reasons were on a gluten free diet. There were 4 other vegetarians and 2 vegan's. I had been given the task of ensuring all the necessary ingredients and suitable substitutes had been ordered for the guests with special needs.

With the help of our wholesalers and fresh food suppliers the kitchen was able to order all the manner of produce so that our specials enjoyed where possible the same menu as the rest of the customers. Amongst the goods ordered were,
Christmas cakes, mince pies and puddings without animal fats,
Cheeses that were suitable for vegan's vegetarians and gluten free.
Soya based milks and creams,
Soya produce, soya milks, Tofu, and just about anything else with soya in
All sorts of beans and pulses,
Special sugars that contained no animal produce,
Caffeine free tea and coffee, etc
Chocolates and sweets that were vegan friendly
Specials breads for the gluten free diets.

The list was endless but we made sure that we had enough food substitutes to deal with any dietary and medical needs customers and any other eventualities that we did not know about. The first day of our Christmas package always started with the meeting and greeting of our guests with a "Grand Victorian Afternoon Tea" buffet and reception. The preparations would start very early in the morning along with all the other jobs that had to be done for the evening meal. Like many busy kitchens at that time year If you were not serving food you were always preparing food for the next meal. We were having a busy but pretty good day and besides the odd hick up which is to be expected things were pretty much running to plan.

The Afternoon Tea was due to be served from 3.30p.m. and run until 6p.m. to cover the late arrivals. With about 30 minutes to go the buffet tables spread out in the lounge were filling up with mountains of hand made scones, fruitcakes, biscuits, cream filled cakes, brandy snaps, sponge cakes, vanilla slices, Madeira cake, obligatory mince pies, shortbread's and more cakes and goodies than you can shake a stick at. Bowls of Chantilly cream and sugared strawberries dotted the tables for good measure. Added to this was all manner of sandwiches including smoked salmon, cucumber and all the traditional sandwich fillings you can think of. All of which was served with a vast array of fine teas, herbal teas, fruit teas, and speciality teas for the vegan's and vegetarians.

A separate table was filled with most of the goodies mentioned above and/or with safe alternatives for the gluten free diets, Another table was set well away from any other tables for the vegan's and vegetarians. The idea being that it allowed the guest to mingle freely amongst each other and avoid any nasty surprises. Prior to the afternoon tea being served the Restaurant Manager gave his final instructions to his staff. In the instructions were details of the special needs customers and in particular the lady who had sent the letter to the kitchen regards her 'Special needs'

The Boss had already been to the kitchen earlier and informed us that he was a little uneasy about this particular guest and had instructed reception to immediately inform him when the lady and her husband arrived so that he could identify her by sight. This was not a one off gesture by the Boss because he liked to meet and greet all guests as they checked in where possible. The lady and her husband duly arrived and the Boss played his usually part and warmly welcomed them. Enquired if they had a pleasant journey etc and treated them to his traditional Christmas welcome that he gave to all his guests.

Besides being a genuine and a personal touch to meet and greet the guests on arrival it gave the Boss the opportunity to access the people he shook hands with and after leaving the lady and her husband to go to their room he issued several instructions to all departments. Trouble with a capital 'T' was his immediate response to the Head Chef and I when we asked about the lady in question. The boss was a shrewd judge of character and after 35 years of working in the catering industry and being a trouble shooter for a top nationwide hotel chain with international hotels he was more often right than he was wrong.

I took my cue and donned a clean apron and hat and went for a quick look round the buffet tables to check that there was plenty of food on display and at the same time do a quick check on the specials tables. Call it paranoia by all means but a buffet were guests move freely around with food on there plates, who then stop to greet each other and in doing so put a plate down on a nearby table whilst they shake hands is a recipe for cross contamination. Throw in a few guests who are not special needs and vegetarians/vegan's who see another table full of goodies and pile in the inevitable can happen. Good job we did not have anyone with a nut allergy. That would have been a nightmare. Although we did have that possibility reasonably covered.

In the lady's letter to the kitchen she pointed out that she did not eat animal or animal byproduce but went on to say that she ate fish, eggs, and cheese. This was what set the alarm bells ringing along with the bit about her past experiances with other hotels who ruined her Christmas because they did not know how to cook for her. Having received a mixed message from the lady had prompted the Head Chef and I to ensure all of her food was always double checked at all times to avoid mistakes. Over the top I know but when you are busy, tired and rush off you feet accidents can and will happen according to 'Sods Law' (often called something else but unprintable)

Bearing this in mind for her first meal at the hotel we went to extra lengths to ensure her stay got off to flying start and along with the cakes and sanwiches etc a special tray with sugars, teas, and soya milk was set up for her as was several other trays for the other specials in the hotel. At this point it might be worth pointing out that her husband was not a vegetarian. His wife definatly wore the trousers in their relationship and it soon became apparant before long that she did not like him eating meat in her company, smoking (was not so anti-social at the time), drinking and generally enjoying life if allowed too. There are no secrets in a hotel and if there are they do not last long and this gentleman was as henpecked as they come.

Their arrival in the lounge prompted a waitress to come and collect the tray alloted to them. The Restraunt Manager was walking on egg shells as he introduced himself and politely showed them the buffet table that they were to choose from. The manager left them to help themselves as the waitress delivered the pots of hot water, cups and saucers and their special tray of tea, sugars and milk to the table they had been alloted in the restraunt. The waitress who served them came to the kitchen later and told us how she had overheard the gentleman saying to his wife that he wanted to have a look at the other tables to see what was on offer and how his wife had quickly put the brakes on that idea. Plenty of laughs and giggles in the kitchen and one of the comis said "poor man" He said something else really but I can't tell you that for obviouse reasons.

Little did we know at the time but trouble was brewing. After availing themselves of 'their buffet' the lady began to pour out her tea and add milk & sugar. She took a sip of her tea and all hell broke loose. The combination of vegetarian tea & sugar combined with soya milk was not her 'cup of tea' and she sent the waitress back to the kitchen with the instructions "to get her some proper milk and get rid of this f*(7^%g c#%p!" So much for being a lady and from that point on it went from bad to worse.

To be continued...........

It's getting late so enjoy New Years Eve where ever you are and remember-

Confusious say "man who walk in bar New Years Day not feeling well, ask barman what good thing for hangover, get answer 'drink heavily the night before'


Remember drink aware - drink sensibbly IF YOU CAN'T THEN DRINK WATER JUST BEFORE YOU GO TO BED.